For those of you who have read my blog, you know that I deal with chronic migraines, fibromyalgia, a pineal gland cyst, insomnia, fatigue and chronic pain.
At the beginning of March my doctors confirmed a lump in my left breast. It has me so on edge that my work is suffering. I teach at a community college and in the last month I’ve ran out of class in tears due to fear, I’ve became nauseated to the point I was sick in class, and I’ve dealt with anxiety attacks and tried to hold things together so my students don’t see the scared to death ready to burst into tears at any time Professor they have to spend 3 hours a week with,
I am seeing a mental health NP who prescribed antidepressants and anxiety medication. I honestly can tell that I’m taking antidepressants. The one thing that seems to calm me down are the anxiety medications and they are very short acting. I have to plan the times I want to have some semblance of control.
My pineal cyst has grown and shifted. That isn’t helping either.
Then today, after injuring my left knee 3 times in 10 days, I decided I needed an X-ray. I have bone spurs in my left knee. The doctor who read the X-rays said it made here physically sick to see the condition of my knee via X-ray and that she wS pretty sure she wouldn’t be able to handle seeing anMRI of the area. She sent me home with a prescription for Mobile (which I’ve repeated said I can’t take because it causes some of the worst nausea I’ve ever dealt with. I started to question it, but decided it would be best if I didn’t. I also gotta referral to a specialist.
This latest just has me more anxious. I can’t think straight…but blogging puts it into perspective. I’m a wreck…I’m dealing with chronic illness, a cyst in my brain, a lump in my breast and bone spurs in my knee.
I know others have a tougher time, but there had to be some way to keep me calm and relaxed when it feels like my body is falling apart. My anxiety is a 10 out of 10 and my pain is a 10 out of 10.
For the record I’m in bed…at 6:55 on Sunday night. How do I get the help I really need right now?
Until next time…
learningtolive2018 